A Monologue Exercise

Alright, I had to piss, so I went to piss, and another dude walked into the bathroom as I was pissing. And, right after he walks in — you ever have those times where you go to take a piss and mid-stream you realize you have to shit? Yeah, right after he walks in I get that feeling, just some weird coincidental timing with how far along I was, so I finish up at the urinal and I turn around to walk over to one of the stalls. As I turn around, I notice this guy that walked in is just looking in the mirror, but he’s not really looking at himself, he’s kinda glancing at me, but I don’t think much of it ’cause, I mean, I was just behind him doing my business and I finish and move to a stall, and that’s gotta be a little weird for him to be around for so looking at me in the mirror to see what’s up seems like a natural thing to do. Anyway, I walk over to the handicap stall ’cause I didn’t see any cripples outside and there’s not any in the bathroom so I’m gonna take advantage of that extra room while I have the opportunity for this surprise shit, and I’m just getting my pants around my ankles when I hear this dude walking over to the stalls. Again, I don’t think much of it, he was probably just taking a relaxing second before his shit, I was just in that same boat in a way. So he gets to his stall, and I turn my head over to the sound of that door closing, I don’t know why, probably just some instinct thing or something, and I notice this hole near the door of my stall. Now, I’m completely confused because I’ve never seen a hole in a stall wall before, so I just stare at it for a second while I’m trying to figure out what use this hole has to a cripple, and while I’m contemplating my life’s greatest mystery this dude’s dick just pops through.So this thing’s just staring me in the face, and I’m just sitting there, half-alone, wondering to myself what I should do in the situation. Like, any other time some dude just pulls his dick out in front of me I’m gonna be upset, but I’m just so in shock because I don’t know what’s going on that I’m wondering, like, do I say something? Should I just keep shitting and wait it out? Do I try to push it back through the hole? I’m thinking of all these ways to get this dick out of here and for some reason it pops into my head, should I just suck it? Now, I’ve never had an urge to suck a dick, it hasn’t really ever crossed my mind, but I just suddenly got curious about, like, would I be able to do it? I don’t know why this thought is even in my head, but out of nowhere justifications for it just start coming to me. Like, “I’m out of town in the middle of nowhere, no one will ever know,” and “when will this ever be an opportunity again, I might as well just take it.” And so I’m not only having this conflict of what to do about this dick in the wall but I’m having a sub-conflict about whether or not I want to do anything to the dick, which is not a thing I ever thought I’d have to be dealing with. So I start shaking out those thoughts about sucking this dude’s dick, like giving myself a pep talk not to do it. I’m replacing “maybe dicks taste alright” with “I get my dick sucked, I don’t suck dicks.” I gotta be, like, “I don’t wanna suck that dick. I’m not gonna suck that dick. I’m never sucking a dick.” all while still staring at this dick. And in the middle of me finally deciding that I’m just gonna finish my shit, walk out, and never turn back, this dude says through the stall “I’ll suck yours next” and once again I am just baffled at the absurdity of this situation. Like, just when I thought I’d resolved this conflict it gets even more complicated, and I start considering it once again. I don’t even stop to think this dude’s just trying to trick me so he can get off and get out, like the way he said it was as if this is something he’s done before and for some reason that really got me thinking because now I’m just sure that this dude gives great head, which is one thing I never thought I’d be thinking, and I’m unsure of what to do again, but I don’t want to be a flake and go back on my decision, so I keep sitting there for a second whispering in my head “Don’t suck the dick. Don’t suck the dick. Don’t suck the dick.”

Event Factory

Event Factory confused me from beginning to end. Although I had an understanding of the immediate action for the most part, getting a hold on the overall narrative proved difficult. I still don’t really understand the book. However, I was able to grasp some thematic elements out of the entire confusion. The biggest one was the smoke that I mentioned in class. I hadn’t thought of the reading originally of the smoke being pollution actually affecting the outsiders and not the natives of Ravicka. I actually read the narrator as losing her mind more and more throughout the journey, and the smoke as being something entirely in her head. The inability to determine whether the smoke was ever there or not, along with the contradictory narration giving me that impression, just said to me that the smoke was never there and that as she became more engulfed and confused she began to believe that this native silence was really a physical smoke taking over the land. The people she kept pairing up with and eventually splitting from all had different reasons for disappearing, but it could be that they all intentionally left because they noticed the instability in her or that they were never really there at all, since none of them, that I can recall, really left anything significant when they left, just parting after sharing some knowledge or information and not much physical. The beings with lights in their ears and the strange growths that the narrator saw through the narrative also gave me the impression of a person slowly losing their grasp on reality. Instead of these being used metaphorically to discuss the environment and culture, I read them as being the truth that the narrator saw and believed. Smoke covering the land that only she and the people she directly associated with noticing or being affected by, strange beings with lights in their ears that she saw and was told to have power over based on her fear and the fact that she could see them but they couldn’t see her, strange growths taking over the city that no one takes any mind to — all of this is only in her head, but she believes it to be true. Her insanity is taking over her perception of the land of Ravicka, and it isn’t until her last few days that everything seems normal again to her, when she’s finally realizing that there is nothing odd going on and that there is nothing to do but return home.

+1/-1 Constraint

I, in the home, enjoy taking walks with our tiny brown kitten without worrying puppies giving chase.

You don’t quite need the help she gives, though maybe taking every tiny bit will prove good for us.

Don’t you dare use this for your own evil needs, lest you take the dark, lower path.

Alliteration constraint

Silly Sammy sat so still that

two-toed Tammy tracked her

hungry humor, hideously hanging in

interesting intrigue instead of

obvious ornamental orbit on what

was wondrously wandering with some

silly Sammy stationed still.

Week of February 5, 2014

N+7 of the introduction to the Emancipation Proclamation

That on the first day of January, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, all persons held as slaves within any State or designated part of a State, the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United States, shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free; and the Executive Government of the United States, including the military and naval authority thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of such persons, and will do no act or acts to repress such persons, or any of them, in any efforts they may make for their actual freedom.

That on the first deadbeat of January, in the yes-man of our Lotion one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, all perversions held as sleepwalkers within any statistic or designated partisan of a statistic, the perch whereof shall then be in recap against the United Statistics, shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free; and the Exertion Gradient of the United Statistics, including the mimic and naval autocue thereof, will recognize and maintain the freethinker of such perversions, and will do no adaptation or adaptations to repress such perversions, or any of them, in any eggshells they may make for their actual freethinker.

Week of 1/22/14

During our in-class close reading of Second Avenue, I learned very quickly that it is difficult to do a close reading of Second Avenue. Without the help of a group reading, I’m not sure I would have been able to make any progress in the close reading without much pain, confusion, and giving up. Luckily, with combined knowledge and attention to detail, I actually learned a lot from our group reading. We focused primarily on the beginning of the third section. We came up with the idea that the introductory lines of section three was primarily referencing the commonplace, everyday working force that was sweeping the nation at the time. People were beginning to lose their soul to the monotony of work and to the integration of all cultures that became the appropriation of their culture into the collective “American” culture. We also found the argument that the focus on working at all times took the natural beauty from our eyes, leaving us too busy paying attention to the small details to appreciate the big picture of the beautiful collection of culture that America was supposed to be.

Week of 1/15/14

The piece we read in class, although I can’t for the life of my remember the title, was really interesting to me. I wasn’t so much drawn in by the specific content, but much more by the thematic elements and consistency. Reading through it, I kept noticing that themes and ideas mentioned in the introduction were constantly used in the poetry, relating the piece back to itself and keeping it grounded in what it wanted to say. The overall theme of change and cultural appropriation only became more evident as the piece continued. The final semi-mirrored pages were incredibly potent in making this point — the display of small differences only helped to emphasize the large impact that the changes had on the environment and culture.

Introduction for CRTW 300

I started writing creatively with poetry during middle school and continued developing my writing throughout high school. I eventually had a class with a professor, Jas Obrecht, who helped shape my understanding and love of the form. After that class, I decided that Creative Writing was what I wanted to follow and pursue. Since then, I have branched out to multiple genres past the already broad genre of poetry. I began writing short fiction, and more recently have delved into writing plays. The program so far has been a new experience for sure, although not quite what I expected going into it. I have learned a lot in different ways than I anticipated, and I’m excited to continue doing so and to see myself through to the end of the program.

Genre, to me, isn’t much more than a simple categorization system. It is a way to easily partition pieces of writing into separate groups in order to understand their content or structure quickly in a recognizable way. When genre becomes more specific, it is merely another branch on the literature tree that the idea of genre initially sprouts from. Literature itself is always the trunk, each piece of writing just finds its way from there to its preferred leaf.

After exploring genre as an idea and as a constraint, I prefer to not limit myself to a particular genre or set of genres. When I write, I like to try new things in form and content to see what fits me or my piece best. Experimentation in my writing has become more important the further I get into the program. Having all options available for my writing leaves me free to truly write what I want to write. Without the constraints of preferred genre or genres, I am free to create as creatively as I wish.

Week of December 2, 2013

The form of a video essay is really cool, blending together pieces of video, narrative, and spoken word. Learning more about them through watching them was a nice experience.

Les Cruel Shoes, John Bresland:
This video essay explores the lonesomeness of foreignness and the struggle to find ones place in a new, different land. Bresland’s use of running shots of video keeps the feeling of searching going on throughout the piece as he continues to describe his running and his learning. The background audio throughout his narration adds to the feeling of loneliness, as it is often no more than haunting noise or the sound of footsteps jogging.

Hook, John Bresland:
Hook seems to be about the exploration that children live in learning, particularly about their exploration of the cruel and criminal. The narration gives off a feeling of inherent cruelness in children and a rush to educate them so that this cruelness is justified. Although spoken with an air of negativity, the message is most likely a positive one about not sheltering children and allowing them to navigate through the dark and evil in order to be educated.

A Little Archive, Laura Mullen:
The framing of the beginning of the video essay helps put into perspective the body narrative of the importance of the work shown and the markings on the floor. The distinct difference between importance of keeping the chairs safe and the eventual admiration of the scuffed and dented floor emphasizes the importance of the development. Mullen’s use of repetition of certain phrases helps show the passage of time and the significance of the ideas repeated. The actual filming of each of these events gives a live view of the time passage and helps the points come across throughout the essay.

Week of November 18, 2013

Although having a rough start, I feel like after getting into the text, the initial toughness of Stein has mostly faded and it’s becoming easier to read and to analyze. I’m actually able to look through what is going on in the text and figure some things out instead of being confused trying to understand the wording and language usage. While focusing on my section for our discussion, it was interesting to see how the ideas were developing and what was going on in the message she is trying to convey. The brief departure from human nature and human mind into a related discussion of the comparison of identity and superstition was really neat.

It’s interesting to see how Stein gets her message across through irony and the exposure of truths in the dissection of superstition and identity. In bringing her example of having money all year after the cuckoo bird into light and stating that it is a fact because it happened and that she could see it and know it so it must be the truth, she exposes the faults of identity in being a construction of what we see or know about people and claim them as fact with the label of identity.